7 Ways to Maintain Dignity in Dementia Care
Think for a moment about something as simple as bathing. If you had to undress in front of your child or a stranger, how would that feel? Awkward? Vulnerable? For many people living with dementia, that sense of lost privacy is a daily reality. Care routines can strip away control without us even noticing. This is why dignity matters.
Here are seven ways dignity often gets overlooked, along with gentle shifts you can make.
1. Talking over or about them
What it looks like: You answer for your parent when a doctor or caregiver asks a question.
What to try: Look at your parent first. Speak directly to them. Even if their response is limited, the act of including them shows respect.
2. Making all the decisions
What it looks like: You pick out clothes, meals, and schedules to keep things simple.
What to try: Offer small choices. “Would you like coffee or tea?” “Blue shirt or green shirt?” Even small decisions can help them feel in control.
3. Rushing personal care
What it looks like: Bathing, dressing, or toileting is handled quickly without warning, leaving your loved one feeling exposed or uncomfortable.
What to try: Give a gentle heads-up before helping. Use towels or robes to maintain privacy. Allow them to do what they can on their own and move slowly to reduce stress and preserve dignity.
4. Assuming they do not understand
What it looks like: You tell stories around them or explain things only to others.
What to try: Use a calm and respectful tone. Speak to them as if they understand, because they often do, even when they cannot show it.
5. Leaving them out of daily life
What it looks like: They sit in another room while you cook, clean, or run errands.
What to try: Invite them to join in with simple tasks like folding laundry, stirring soup, or watering plants. Being part of life, even in small ways, helps them feel needed.
6. Overlooking personal style
What it looks like: Skipping hair care, favorite clothes, or grooming because it seems unnecessary.
What to try: Help them look and feel like themselves. Offer choices. A favorite scarf, hat, or lipstick can bring comfort and pride.
7. Overlooking their abilities
What it looks like: You stop encouraging them to join in hobbies they once enjoyed.
What to try: Support the things they can still do. Singing, gardening, or simple crafts can spark joy and keep a sense of purpose.
Why dignity matters
Caring with dignity is not about doing everything for your loved one. It is about doing things with them whenever possible. Respect and patience can help calm anxiety and strengthen bonds. And those moments, when your loved one feels seen and valued, can be just as healing for you as for them.
You cannot change the diagnosis, but you can choose how you respond. Each small act of respect is a way of saying, “You are still you, and you still matter.”
Disclaimer: Everyone experiences dementia differently, and abilities can change over time. These tips are meant to support dignity and connection while keeping safety a priority. Adjust routines as needed and consult a healthcare professional if you are unsure.